ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
