i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
