You really coming over, don't trick.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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