17 year olds will be the death of me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
