we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize