Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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