lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
