i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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