But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
