Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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