you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize