I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
