No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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