i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
