So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize