I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
