Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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