Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
