Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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