i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
