Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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