new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
