Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just took my morning after pill in the library
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
