Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
