and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
