I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
