I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
