We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
