Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
