She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
