those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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