thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize