when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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