You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
