I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
