that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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