That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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