i permit you to call me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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