the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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