I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
