I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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