I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
