I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
