You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This is classic penis vs brain.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
