In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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