Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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