after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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