when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
