Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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