Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
