why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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