New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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