Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
