Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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