Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize