she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
